Ask the Holy Spirit -- He's got His own blog! (or She . . .)

The Christian Prophet

Too disturbing to be funny . . .

(.avi file, 9.1MB)

{ Thanks to Electronic Cowboy for the find, and for re-encoding the video }


(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn't I.)

Swearing Competition

{ thanks to joe for this find }

The look of Evil

I always thought I was the only person who noticed this, but the soulless automaton known as Paris Hilton actually has no facial expression. Watch and be amazed.

-Joe

Thai Tourists Warned Of Sedative-Spitting Transvestites

local6.com - News - Thai Tourists Warned Of Sedative-Spitting Transvestites

"
BANGKOK, Thailand -- Thai police are warning tourists of a new scam.

Members of a Thai transvestite gang have confessed to hiding strong sedatives in their mouths and spitting them down the throats of victims during deep kissing. Then they rob the drugged tourists.

The confession came from three attractive transvestites arrested in Bangkok last week. Police say they'd robbed a Bangladeshi businessman of more than $7,300 in cash and valuables.

Police say the victim told investigators he met the transvestites in a bar and invited them all back to his apartment.
After kissing one, he said he felt dizzy and passed out. When he woke up, his cash, watch, mobile phone and notebook computer were gone.

A police lieutenant colonel has this warning for tourists: "Don't rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep."
"

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study

"
. . . Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.
. . . . . . . .
"

{ Thanks to Joe Mammy for this find }

Get your own Budweiser email address!

(Come on, all the cool kids are doing it . . .)

The Military Applications of Silly String

An actual email:

"
Hello sir,

I just have a quick question. I'm a former Marine I in Afghanistan. Silly string has served me well in Combat especially in looking for I.A.Ds., simply put, booby traps. When you spray the silly sting in dark areas, especially when you doing house to house fighting. On many occasions the silly string has saved me and my men's lives.

Now my little brother has taken up the fight in Iraq and where he is, house to house fighting is intense. To get to the point I would like to purchase a large amount of silly string to send to him to help with the booby traps. Please send me some prices for a bulk order.

Thank you for you time, Alex
"

Bar Code Jesus

Conspiracy theory of the day: Bush is a shape-shifting vampire

"
Racism, rather than concerns about sovereignty, propelled the very first settlers into the Washington region. In 1844, George W. Bush, a man of African-American ancestry was among early pioneers to Oregon Country. After learning the Oregon Provisional Government prohibited black people from owning property, Bush's party evaded control of the Provisional Government by crossing the Columbia River into present-day Washington. Olympia, now the state capital, traces its settlement to this band of pioneers.
"

Thou Shalt Not Wank

(But killing's O.K.)

"
Sex and the Faithful Soldier

ADD another item to the well-equipped soldier's duffel. An evangelical radio ministry has developed a book kit meant to help soldiers protect their sexual purity, and is raising money to send 6,000 kits to chaplains who have requested them.

The kits, from New Life Ministries, which broadcasts on 150 stations nationally, is intended to promote Bible-based abstinence from pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex and masturbation. "Your goal is sexual purity," the authors write. "You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife."
"

Robertson to Dover: God Hates You

Robertson warns Pennsylvania voters of God's wrath

Eight 'intelligent design' school board members lost election

Thursday, November 10, 2005; Posted: 5:27 p.m. EST (22:27 GMT)

"
WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson told citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck.

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."

"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said.
. . . . . . . .

In 1998, Robertson warned the city of Orlando, Florida that it risked hurricanes, earthquakes and terrorist bombs after it allowed homosexual organizations to put up rainbow flags in support of sexual diversity.
"


Meanwhile, The vatican came out this week in support of the theory of evolution saying that "the faithful should listen to what secular modern science has to offer, warning that religion risks turning into "fundamentalism" if it ignores scientific reason." So not everyone is insane.

Image fun

I like how these pictures seem to have a certain, well, connectedness. I like connectedness. It's so, well, connected.

Scooter's wacky, sexy side; or, "Not enough animal rape" . . .

Amazon.com: Reviews for The Apprentice : A Novel: Books: Lewis Libby



It's gotten rave reviews, such as:

"
Not enough animal rape, November 4, 2005

Reviewer:Spiro Agnew's headless corpse

This otherwise played out story had bear rape. As a bear raper I can say that the idea of turning the tables was quite erotic. But then there was no more animal rape.. what up with that?
"

I can't wait to hear what kind of stuff Scooter writes about from his prison cell . . . Should be hot.

Worst Bulletin Board Ever :: WW II as online game

If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
. . . . . . . .

Conspiracy Theory Of The Day: Spiderman is a Satanist!

See also: Jesus-Is-Savior.com (trust me, it's fucking bizarre)







And so is Dan Quayle!! (Or else Dan Quayle just thinks he's Spiderman, it's hard to say . . .)

How to build a Time Machine

Hurricane? No problem! Just call Jani King!

Dane fights for state-funded sex

"
A disabled Danish man is fighting for the state to pay for him to have a prostitute visit him at home.

Torben Hansen, who has cerebral palsy, which severely affects his speech and mobility, believes his local authority should pay the extra charge he incurs when he hires a sex worker - because his disability means he cannot go to see them. His case is currently being considered.
. . . . . . . .
"

"Got Heroin?"

Do I really even need to say anything?

And now, the Adventures of Dr McNinja.

-Joe