Archive For 2005

The rapture: When all the believers in Jesus Christ, who have been born again, are taken up to heaven.

After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won’t listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?

We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.

How is this accomplished, you might ask. It’s a dead man switch that will automatically send the emails when it is not reset.

If you wish to do something now that will help your unbelieving friends and family after the rapture, you need to add those persons email address to our database. Their names will be stored indefinitely and a letter will be sent out to each of them on the first Friday after the rapture. Then they will receive another letter every friday after that.

This rapture letter service is FREE and will hopefully gain the person you send it to an eternity in heaven.

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

(Identify that quote, and win one kiss on the bum.)

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

About that, I have THIS to say:

Ну, знаете ли господа, до 1 апреля еще далеко…
У меня прекрасные дружеские с четырьмя психиатрани. Два из них кандидаты психиатрических наук, один профессор с всероссийским именем и один доктор наук тоже с нехилым послужным списком. Все практикуют, как в государственных, так и в часных клиниках. Я у них спросил. Мне уже предложили подлечиться, по дружбе. В общем ни один из них не в курсе о существовании Легиона Сатаны, и специальных бланков анкет – в глаза не видели. Отмазка про секретность организации – не прокатит. Двое из них имеют отношение к спецслужбам.

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

Before you click the links, guess who each of these is supposed to be and you’ll win a prize.

(Hint: there are no wrong answers.)

A.

If you guessed A.) the bastard offspring of Ronald Reagan and Sloth from “Goonies,” and B.) the bastard offspring of Ronald Reagan and George Burns, you didn’t win. (It’s O.K., I lost, too.)

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)

O.K., kids. It’s your turn to come up with a caption for this picture. (Please put them in the Comments.) Have fun!

(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)