O.K. So I’m up later than I should be, and I need to calm down and just get my ass to sleep.
Normally when I need to do that, I lie in bed and just think of words. (Anyone else ever do that??) Just your standard free-association technique: no censorship, just whatever comes into my mind, no matter what, and I don’t think about it I just think of as many words as I can think of, one after another. Doesn’t matter what they are.
(If you’re an insomniac, I recommend this: it has never failed to put me to sleep before I ever realize I’m getting tired.)
Well, tonight for some reason I’m doing this but at my computer — trying to write them down as they enter my brain. (It doesn’t really work as well; it takes too much time to type a word. I must hire a stenographer… Or I suppose just record into a microphone — but, hey, having a stenographer would make me fell all important and stuff.)
At any rate, here is the result:
lost burnt remnants shattered scattered dogs blood running fragrant death maelstrom malificent torture gone blown bloom orange suit pick quick tight mop nope soup lord bored torment orchard sordid male flail organs boredom foregotten so stop march block pop suck paper maple drag flag bury ferry marry dagger flagrant behavior maladjusted frustrated mustard bugs mugs hoards bottom kite flight sorrow lesser mess test flavor savor paper pepper sepulchre marrow sorrow over out boat coat stow steal morose forgive stop live breathe step met let leave breathe echo shot mop stop front testicle obituary obstacle popcicle darwin bludgeon nothing something pins pain needle surgery worse burst torment overture pinion staple paper blood mud flight dormant organ florrid flagrant vapid tepid ordered placemat vomit flog butter marble stick crack smash hand fist pummel shake twitch ocean float water canyon sky space float distance disappear vanish vanquish varnish voices stifling suffocating pants lavendar sandwich stomach plummet dance drown order behavior lover mother tongue smother another concubine believer deciever needle pee lever dragon cardboard spectacle staunch discover tainted blight bite buttocks bother another clever insight bite brother drug fuck tender smother speak leave breathe enhance dance remember together dismember distance forever forgotten rotten rope bloat stitch staple maim mother tundra sun moon money monkey eat feet foster forever front fast blather morose stomach stop measles assist advice mice rats dungeon sound silence dark quickness leaves triangles simulation bottomless sand gravel dust grave bury lost rain mind stain same slain simian blight overdrawn stamp cake floor wood trees dead fallen broken lost past future sutures serpents perfect missionary left failure book stalk sky burnt fallen porcupoione soldier scalded shoot stab family practice hall vessel tussel monkey monk base faces forgotten rotten dormant door meant nothing future mangle truck frustrated bait fish catch eat eyes hook squirm live sea water drink pee butter marmalade sausage cow pig kiss dance meet feces talk dance fuck hate kill eat die fry god hate nothing
And now I just have to say: if you actually read all that, 1.) you are officially my friend, and 2.) there might be something wrong with you…
(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)