While I am asleep, my brother Shane decides to try something out on my teeth. There is a skull with fangs on the floor, and he removes the two big fangs and tries to attach them onto my teeth with super glue. Now he is using some kind of heat gun to harden the glue (similar to a dentist casting a filling).
I start to wake up. The heat gun clicks every so often (he clicks it to send a surge of heat into the metal to keep a certain temperature), and with each click he seems to be putting another drop of glue onto the tooth, also.
Now it starts to feel really hot — especially since I have cavities in most of my teeth — and I realize he is now just using a soldering iron to solder the fangs on.
I am fully awake now — freaked out, but still trusting that he knows what he’s doing… I help by holding my mouth open as wide as possible (again, just like at the dentist).
When he’s done, my mouth feels very strange — the amount of glue he used was more than excessive. I look in the mirror and realize these fangs are massive, and would have worked better as horns than as fangs. He managed to get them to stick, but they look ridiculous and are sticking upward. He agrees that this experiment has failed.
Apparently it is Halloween soon, and he was just trying to help me get a better, more authentic costume.
He uses the heat gun yet again to melt the glue/solder and remove the fangs — which takes a long time…
I am relieved to have the fangs out, but now my tooth feels really strange — and when I look in the mirror I see that most of the tooth is simply gone — between pieces being burned or shaved off or having stuck to the glue and chipped off, there is basically a sliver left, with some silver solder around the edge by the gums.
I complain, but Shane points out that while he was working in there, he used the solder to fill one of my cavities for me — so actually he did me a favor, free of charge. I accept this, and thank him for the free dentistry.
(But, then, I should really just shut my bloody trap. Shouldn’t I.)