New Law Prohibits Kaleidoscoping While Driving | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

“If you need to see complex geometric patterns made by colorful beads and glass shifting in front of your eyes while you rotate a cylinder, pull over to the side of the road first or, better yet, wait until you reach your destination. … Studies have shown that kaleidoscoping while operating a motor vehicle is the equivalent of driving under the influence of four alcoholic beverages and two tabs of LSD. It simply isn’t safe.” Lobbyists for the kaleidoscope industry maintain their product is totally safe for drivers if they use the hands-free option.