Some Oskar quotes from the past year

My son Oskar is 5, he’ll turn 6 in a few months. These are some quotes from the past year or so that I wrote down but never shared… : )

“If there was only one guy left, and then he started getting old and sick, and then he died … There would be no more people in the WORLD.”

Talking on toy phone- impatient: “Yes, yes, yes, yes. We have a lot of ketchup.”

Oskar: “I think I’m gonna throw up honey in one more second…”
Me: “You’re gonna throw up honey?”
Oskar: “Yeah. Cause’s there’s a bee in my stomach.”


“Dad, if I’m dead that means my skin will fall off. Just like my heart and lungs fell out. But, there’s no bad guys around to shoot me.”


waving scissors around and cutting the air: “We’re cutting the clouds!”

playing doctor: “Olive, this electricity is going to go right through your belly. It’s not going to tickle.”


“Dad, this evil cat is as tall as the sky.”

“Olive you’re incredible. You incredible sister.”

Oskar: “Hey, I wanted some water!”
Me: “ok, well you didn’t ask.”
Oskar: “Yes I did. In my head.”
Me: “Ok, well I can’t hear the thoughts in your head.”
Oskar: “You can’t hear me counting in my head because it’s in my brain, it’s really dark.”
Me: “Correct.”

“I want a cheeseburger with no meat, no sausage, and no bacon.”


“The dinosaurs are extinct, there’s no more left. They got shocked in a thunderstorm. And there was holes in em.”


“Is there a giant in our sky? I think there’s a giant in the sky.”


Explaining to his little sister, pointing to the hair on my arm: “That’s his fur.”



“My brain is REALLY mad! And my bones are mad too!”
Me: “Why are you so mad?”
Oskar: “Because I’m yelling a lot!!” ‪#‎CauseAndEffect‬


“if your nose bleeds you have to go to the nose doctor. And if your head falls off you need a head doctor.”

Sitting in the closet: “Should we get out and see if we’re in a different house now?”


“This guy doesn’t have a house so he lives in the woods but he can’t live in the woods no more so he’s makin up his own worlds. He’s makin up different worlds.”

Explaining why we need the screen in the window, otherwise
bugs and birds would come in. Oskar: “Otherwise turtles will come in. Turtles are mean. I don’t know why.”


When I killed a gnat: “You just broke ‘im! That wasn’t very nice. You can’t kill those, those are our friends. They’re our family friends. Should we give em some water?”


“I know we live under the sea. The sky is the sea. We can just talk and breathe in this water but not the other water.”


Oskar: “NOOOO, I don’t wanna go to sleep, I just woke up…”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Oskar: “I’m talking to my body. But my bones wanna rest.”

“You can’t hit people like this or their teeth will fall out and then fall into the ocean and then the sharks will eat em and then they’ll get sick.”


“Dad if your head comes off, it’s not nice to laugh at someone. ”

“Talking dogs are gross. Just like talking babies.”


“Moms don’t draw.”


“Dad, if you get cut and all your blood runs out, you get an ear infection?”


“I’ve been takin care of Olive my whole life.”


“A ghost is something that comes out of your body when you’re old and sick.”

“Sometimes everybody’s moms are mean.”


This New Release Plays on Fisher-Price Record Players ONLY | NOISEY

This New Release Plays on Fisher-Price Record Players ONLY | NOISEY.

It goes without saying that analog—à la vinyl and cassette—is totally en vogue right now. Encouraged by being able to touch your music rather than watch as you accidently vanquish it to the depths of the recycle bin, loads of labels are pressing releases that you can feel.

Well, it seems that Canadian label Kelp Records has combined this touchy-feely admiration with an admiration for childhood. You know: the time when playtime was actually a session on the monkey bars and not a euphemism for heavy-petting.

The Ottawa-based brand is issuing the music of local band Hilotrons exclusively for the Fisher-Price toy record player. This means that instead of raving hands aloft to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” you can get down to “My Number” and “Not There Tonight” playing in some creepy glockenspiel tones. Unfortunately, you’ll only get roughly 25 seconds to drown in the euphoria, as the format can only carry about half a verse and half a chorus of each song.

The decision came after label founder Jon Bartlett, tracked down the Zeppelin disc’s creator in Surrey and arranged to have them produce the Hilotrons two-sider, taken from their recent LP At Least There’s Commotion. Being a boyhood fan of the 1970s kiddy jukebox, he thought this would be a rad idea for the novelty item shelf. Because of costs, however, the label was only able to make five of the records, which were sold as part of an exclusive package at last Saturday’s Toronto edition of the Independent Label Market.

Bear with us as we raid the aisles of Toys ‘R’ Us.

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