Christmas gift for my brother Shane, I think… (I can post this publicly because he is on neither Twitter nor Facebook.)
The invitations went out and the pumpkin pies were baked and Massasoit, with ninety followers, attended the first Thanksgiving in the fall of 1621. The guests brought five deer. The hosts provided fresh bread, roast duck, goose, and wine. (One drunk Englishman started going on about how Obama wanted to take away everyone’s right to own an assault rifle but he soon passed out and was heard from no more.) Believe it or not, turkey was not mentioned by a single eyewitness.
Of course, the Pilgrim’s survived hard times and thrived. (This is why NFL players still point to the sky when they score touchdowns.) Even troubles with tribes beyond Massasoit’s control could not break English spirits. When a sachem named Wituwamat threatened them the Pilgrims took quick action. The chief and three followers were invited into the settlements to talk. There, without warning, Captain Myles Standish and his soldiers fell upon them and cut them to pieces. Then they chopped off Wituwamat’s head and spiked it atop their fort wall. It remained there for years, but apparently did not spoil anyone’s appetite at future Thanksgiving dinners.
So, there you have it. The story of the First Thanksgiving, with details added. Tomorrow, thank God for your blessings. And be thankful that you weren’t born in the seventeenth century. May you all digest your turkey in peace and harmony.
Does the cat on YOUR shirt have laser eyes? … I thought not.