Cracks
a play in three parts
by
dustin hansen
copyright January 2000
by Dustin Hansen
Cast of Characters
| Guard | Prison guard in a high-security prison. |
| Boy | |
| Girl | |
| Mother | Mother to boy and girl. |
| Priest | A depressive drunkard with a nervous disorder. |
| Young Mother | Mother to an infant. |
Scene
Part
I: a federal penitentiary.
Part
II: a zoo.
Part
III: a baby’s room.
Time
Part
I: morning.
Part
II: early afternoon.
Part
III: night.
Part I
| SETTING: |
Bare **Note: The audience should feel as though |
| AT RISE: | Long silence. Then: sounds of a prison (keys, gates slamming, vague chaotic voices echoing hollowly, footsteps, . . .). |
(A guard enters L, slow and steady gait, paces to
R, and back again, staring straight ahead, without turning head or looking at
audience. Repeat x 2. Then, center, stops. Turns, facing out. Stares. Smiles. Scowls.)
GUARD
Whatcha
gonna do today?
(pause)
39713. I asked you a question.
(pause)
You
lookin forward to the showers?
(pause)
I
know I am. Damn straight.
(pause)
Gotta
get clean. Gotta be normal.
(pause)
The
thing about it in here, you get so sick of yourself. You smell yourself, right?–I mean without even tryin. Without breathin. You hold it in til your black ass turn
blue and your head gets so light it feels heavy, and you swayin there–gotta
lie down cause you bout to explode. . . . But you
can’t do it. And you c’n still
smell it. Can feel yourself. Stinkin. Like rottin. Like somethin that don’t know it’s dead, won’t stay in the
ground. You suffocate on yourself. Yeah, don’t tell me. . . . You c’n see yourself in the corner there, watchin you. C’n feel you there, all crouched and
chokin up nothin. And you close
your eyes and shove the pillow over you, But you still wanna scream,
right? To–”announce”–
(Imitating
the elephant man:)
“I’m
Not An Animal! I’m a Human Being!”
(laughs)
Shiiit.
(Pause. Shakes head.)
You
think you ain’t nothin but cattle, right? Ain’t that right?
(pause)
Well
I’ll tell you what: You go
anywhere–ANYwhere–on the outside, now–and you don’t move, don’t say
nothin. Alone. And just watch. And listen. Go to Walmart just before the store opens. Stand on the bridge and watch the blind
hogs on the highway. Go to church
for chrissake. I’m tellin you,
man: cattle. An you see a black sheep or two like
yourself. And they lost too. Just the difference is they all runnin,
everybody’s runnin–from somethin, or after somethin, treadin all over one
another to get to nowhere–hell, I don’t know where–to hell, I guess. An you mopin along behind. Like sleep walkin. Cause you don’t wanna wake up.
(pause)
Hey.
(pause)
Hey. Wake Up!
(pause)
Motherfucker,
wake the fuck up right fuckin now, nigger!
(pause)
Yeah. I thought so.
(pause)
Ya
know, you bastards bitch and moan about bein persons, right? About being nothin but numbers? But lemme tell ya: ain’t nobody nothin but a number in
this world. Not nobody. You know how many people’re in this
goddamned world? Ain’t no such
thing as a person. Not no
more. You know what I think? I think there’s I’s but there ain’t no
we’s. See what I’m sayin? It’s I and it’s they. That’s it. That’s all.
(pause)
If
there’s we’s, they just become I’s. That’s all. Just a little
bit bigger.
(pause)
Ain’t
nothin.
(silence)
O.K. We gotta do this. You know the routine.
(pause)
I
don’t wanna fuckin hear it cause I’m in no fuckin mood this morning. Now take em off.
(pause)
Drawers.
(pause)
Drawers.
(pause)
Nigger,
I’m gonna kick you in the crotch so hard you’ll cry like your mama just
died. I’m sick of this shit. Now take em off.
(pause)
If
I have to come in there, Jesus Mary Joseph . . . You’re gonna be in a world of hurt, nigger. . . . Did I stutter, motherfucker? Take those fuckers OFF. Bruises don’t show on your black ass, you hear what I’m
sayin?
(pause)
All
right, now arms out. . . . Turn around. . . . Open your
mouth. Head back. All right, now turn around. Turn around. Legs apart. Bend over.
(pause)
Bend
over, nigger!
(pause)
You’re
askin for a shank up the ass, fucker.
(pause)
This
ain’t nothin new, bitch. I know
you’re a skinny bitch. Just like
the shower. You done practiced
this shit, now don’t be playin Mr. Clean Cherry, nigger. You could fit a Smith & Wesson in
that asshole.
(pause)
I’m
gonna count to three, and then your ass is a fuckin train wreck. One. . . . Two.
(pause)
That’s
more like it. Now touch your
toes. Touch em. Spread your cheeks. More.
(pause)
All
right. Now that wasn’t so goddam
tough was it. We don’t want you
hidin no cutlery in there. Or no
rolls, or no carrots. You still on
this “hunger strike” bullshit? You
know you are one dumb son’vabitch. You think anybody gives a good goddam if you starve your sorry ass? Huh? You think anybody on the outside even knows you fuckin
exIST? Shiiit. That’s why you in here. So’s they don’t have to look at ya. You’re pain is useless. It means nothin. Nothin. You don’t exist. You fell through a crack and you gone. You ain’t even aLIVE, nigger. You gotta be free ta be alive. But you know somethin? Ain’t half the motherfuckers out there alive, either. Cause ain’t nobody free. Not really. You bastards–you, you at least got quiet.
(pause)
You
know what freedom is out there? Money. Why? Cause money is time. Not the other fuckin way around. But see, everybody’s tryin’a get money
so’s they can have what you already got. And that’s time. And they
so busy tryin’a make money ta buy time that by the time they got the money they
time’s up. Time’s run out. And then no matter how much money you
got, you ain’t buyin yourself no time.
(pause)
Lemme
tell you somethin, nigger. Out
there, everybody’s a slave. And
they whip theyselves. But nobody
owns theirselves. In here, we own
your ass. But you fuckin free,
see? See, ain’t no persons out
there. Only shadows an’ slaves. Only fools an’ tools. Everybody’s a tool. Everybody got a function. A “purpose.” They think they decide what that purpose is. Like a hammer decides ta be a fuckin hammer. That’s bullshit. People are made. Made. You? You’re
fuckin useless. You got no
function, and no value. Tht’s as close
as you can get to bein a person, man. It ain’t “You are so that this.” You just are. See what I’m
sayin?
(pause)
Why
you gotta make shit tough, huh? You free. You got no
responsibilities. You’re free from
freedom. Lotta guys’d kill for
that. If they were free to. Hell, I might.
(pause)
Why’n’t
you make the most of it, steada fightin?
(pause)
What
the fuck you protestin anyway? You
think one man can “make a difference”? Huh? Is that what you
think? All that Mohamed Ghandi
Martin Luther King shit? Man, you
gone. Not even on the outside. Ain’t nobody make a difference. Nobody.
(pause)
You
hear me? Whatchu tryin to
acheive? “World Peace”? Shiiit. We be lucky if we could acheive peace in a single fuckin
family, you know what I’m sayin? Thre ain’t one person at peace with themselves. Now how they gonna be at peace with the
world? You tell me that.
(pause)
Well
you wanna know what you havin today? Fuckin cream corn, black eyed peas, biscuits n gravy, fuckin baked
potato. I’m talkin good shit. You best take a day off that strike,
I’m thinkin.
(pause)
You
got water on the brain, goin hungry. You ain’t gonna be heard. You hear me? You–Will
Not–Be–Heard. Man, my wife
don’t even listen to me. My
kids? Hell. They’re just waitin for me ta die.
(pause)
Fuckin
job.
(pause)
Fuckin
life.
(pause)
Shout
all you fuckin want, this world. You might as well be in outerspace. Might as well be fuckin underground, or at the bottom of the
ocean.
(long
pause)
You
believe in reincarnation? My
grandma fuckin believed in that shit. Crazy fuckin ideas. It
wasn’t like karma though. You know? Just random. It just happened, she said. For no reason. Like, Mother Teresa could come back as a tapeworm, you know? God, it’d be nice to have some say in
the matter though. It’d be nice to
have a choice. Don’t ya
think?
(pause)
It’d
be nice to have a goddam choice.
(long
pause)
I’d
like to come back a monkey.
(Silence. Stares at audience. Nods.
Silence.)
(BLACKOUT)
(END
OF PART I)
Part II
| SETTING: | Same set. [Empty, bars.] |
| AT RISE: | Animal noises. |
(WOMAN
enters with two children.)
(**Note: If desired, the roles of BOY and GIRL can be reversed.)
BOY (pointing at audience:)
Wow! Look, Mom!
(BOY takes crackers, bread crumbs and carrots from
paper sack, begins throwing them through bars at audience.)
GIRL
Look
at his teeth!
(GIRL throws food, with less vehemence than BOY)
BOY
He’s
laughin at us!
(throws
food more viciously)
GIRL
He
looks crazy. Look at his teeth!
BOY
Yeah.
(throws
food)
GIRL
Those’re
crazy teeth.
BOY
(turning to a different part of audience:)
Whoa! Look at that one!
GIRL
He’s
throwin it! He’s throwin his poop,
Mom!
(pause)
I
want one.
BOY
Yeah. Can we get one, Mom?
GIRL
Can
we? Can we get a monkey?
BOY
Pleeeeease?
MOTHER
I
don’t think they’re for sale.
GIRL
Where
can we buy one?
MOTHER
I
don’t think they’re legal.
BOY
Whattaya
mean? Ya mean somebody might
arrest these monkeys?
MOTHER
No,
but you can’t have them as pets.
GIRL
How
come? I’d feed em.
BOY
You
don’even know what they eat, ape face.
GIRL
Sure
I do.
BOY
What.
GIRL
.
. . Cheese. Rabbits. Pop Tarts. ANYthing.
MOTHER
But
you wouldn’t know how to take care of one.
GIRL
Well
I wouldn’t put im in a lousy stinky crumby cage, anyway.
BOY
He’s
throwin it again, Mom! Lookit im!
GIRL
I
want that one.
MOTHER
Ya
do, huh?
GIRL
(turning to a different part of audience:)
Why’s
that one always smilin?
BOY
He’s
crazy.
(pause)
GIRL
He
looks like Dad.
(pause)
MOTHER
He
looks vaguely like Gerald Ford.
GIRL
Who?
MOTHER
Oh,
nobody really.
BOY
(turning to a different part of audience:)
Lookit
that one! He’s swingin by his tail!
GIRL
I
wish I could do that.
BOY
I
wish I had a tail.
GIRL
Mom? Why don’t we have tails?
MOTHER
Oh
. . . I suppose . . . because of
evolution.
BOY
What’s
that?
MOTHER
That
means that over time things we don’t need we lose.
GIRL
I
need a tail.
MOTHER
No
you don’t.
GIRL
Yup.
MOTHER
What
for.
GIRL
So
I can do that.
MOTHER
But
you don’t need to do that.
GIRL
Who
cares. Neither does he. But I wanna.
MOTHER
Yes,
well, we can’t do everything we want.
GIRL
How
come?
BOY
So
I used to have a tail then?
MOTHER
Well
no.
BOY
But
how’d I lose it?
MOTHER
All
people had tails at one time.
BOY
& GIRL
Really?
MOTHER
Just
like that. In fact, we used to be
monkeys just like that.
BOY
& GIRL
Wow!
BOY
When?
MOTHER
A
really, really long time ago.
BOY
I
don’t remember.
GIRL
I’m
gonna look for my tail when we get home.
(Enter maniacal-looking PRIEST. He stops next to them, stands staring
at audience and lethargically tossing food from a bag. He looks drained, wasted, and possibly
drunk. His face twitches and he
shivers, at times resembling one in a fit of seizure.)
BOY
So
what if I didn’t need my mouth anymore, or my whole head? Would it just like fall off?
MOTHER
No
no, it takes a very long time. You
wouldn’t live long enough.
(Pause. BOY ponders.)
BOY
So,
is rev’lution good or bad?
MOTHER
Well,
it’s . . .
GIRL
It’s
bad, monkeybrain.
BOY
How
d’you know?
GIRL
Cuz. It took away our tails, didn’t it?
BOY
Oh
yeah.
(pause)
Is
it, Mom?
MOTHER
Oh
. . . I don’t think so. It depends on how you look at it I
suppose.
BOY
Whatta
ya mean?
MOTHER
Well,
you don’t just lose things. You
get things, too.
BOY
Ya
do?
GIRL
Ya
mean I could still get my tail back?
MOTHER
You
don’t, but eventually, after enough time passes, people will.
GIRL
Who? Why don’t I?
BOY
Like
what.
MOTHER
I
don’t know.
GIRL
I’d
like two tails.
BOY
Could
I get horns?
GIRL
And
a beak.
BOY
And
claws?
GIRL
And
wings.
BOY
And
fangs?
GIRL
And
fins.
MOTHER
I
don’t think we’ll ever need them.
GIRL
I
need them. I need them RIGHT NOW.
MOTHER
No
you don’t. I think you’re fine the
way you are.
GIRL
Am
not.
BOY
She’s
right, Mom.
GIRL
So
it’s bad cause we lose stuff?
MOTHER
What,
evolution?
(GIRL
nods)
Well,
what it is, it’s sort of a contest to see who can eat the most, and kill the
most, and make the most babies. And a lot of kind and very smart people think that we should be making
less babies, and so they don’t make any, and so then . . . And so it means that if you’re weak,
you lose, and if you’re strong, you win.
GIRL
I
should start lifting weights.
MOTHER
Now
it doesn’t have to be that kind of strength. With people, it’s different. It’s things you’re born with, but also it’s money, and
health, and power. And weaponry.
GIRL
What’s
he doing?
BOY
He’s
touching himself. Look!
GIRL
Mom,
why’s he doing that?
MOTHER
Umm
. . . Evolution.
BOY
& GIRL
Oh.
MOTHER
(turning to a different part of audience:)
Oh,
that one looks so sad. All alone
by himself.
GIRL
What’s
the matter with him?
BOY
Nothin. He’s probly thinkin.
PRIEST
Poor
bastard.
(Silence. MOTHER and children stare at PRIEST, who stares ahead vacantly at
audience.)
GIRL
I
could take care of that one. He
wouldn’t be no trouble. Just sit
there, thinkin.
BOY
Oh! That other guy just threw the poop at
him! Didja see that?
GIRL
He
didn’t even move.
BOY
Don’t
they like im or somethin?
GIRL
I
wonder what his teeth’re like.
(Long silence. They all stare at the same place in audience, at the lone
monkey.)
GIRL
Do
you think he likes being in there?
BOY
Why
don’t ya ask im.
GIRL
He
doesn’t look like he wants to talk.
(silence)
PRIEST
Do
you like being in there?
(pause)
Do
you?
(pause)
Do
you?!
(pause)
DO
YOU?!!
(pause)
Talk! Talk to me! For the love of God just talk to me!!!
(silence)
He
won’t talk.
GIRL
He
can’t talk people. He only talks
monkey.
PRIEST
Lucky
bastard.
BOY (to audience:)
Idiot.
GIRL
Shut
up. Am not.
BOY
Not
you, idiot. Him.
MOTHER
Quiet!
GIRL
(gesturing to priest, in a whisper:)
Who? Him?
BOY
NO!
(gesturing at audience:)
Him! Him!
GIRL
Oh. Yeah.
(to
audience:)
Idiot!
BOY
Moron!
GIRL
Poop
head!
BOY
Crazy
face!
GIRL
Tooth
head!
BOY
What?
GIRL
Ape
brain!
BOY
Monkey!
(pause)
GIRL
What?
BOY
What.
GIRL
You
called im a monkey.
BOY
So?
GIRL
So
that’s what he is.
BOY
Yeah,
but he don’t know that.
GIRL
How
d’you know he don’t.
BOY
I
don’t know.
GIRL
Maybe
he likes bein a monkey.
BOY
I
know, I’d like to be a monkey.
GIRL
So
would I.
PRIEST
So
would I.
(Silence. They stare at PRIEST.)
MOTHER
You
wouldn’t wanna be a monkey.
GIRL
Would
so.
BOY
Yes
I would.
MOTHER
You’d
get tired of it.
PRIEST
I’m
tired of being a person.
(Silence. They stare at PRIEST.)
GIRL
Mom?
MOTHER
Hm?
GIRL
Is
a monkey a person?
MOTHER
.
. . I don’t know. I don’t think
so.
GIRL
Oh.
PRIEST
Lucky
bastard.
(Silence. They stare at PRIEST. He
stares vacantly out at audience. Tosses cracker and bread crumbs into his mouth, munches. Silence, but for sound of munching and
monkeys. Walks off.)
GIRL
I
wanna be a monkey when I grow up.
(BOY nods. The two shove some cracker and bread crumbs and carrots into their mouths,
munch. MOTHER shakes her
head. BOY begins imitating a
monkey.)
GIRL
Mom?
MOTHER
Hm?
GIRL
Why
do they do that?
MOTHER
Do
what?
GIRL (pointing at
audience:)
That.
MOTHER
Smile?
GIRL
Yeah. And swing around.
BOY
(suddenly
stops monkey routine:)
Yeah,
and make noises and throw poop around.
GIRL
And
have little puppy monkeys.
BOY
Why
don’t they just sit still, and be quiet, and be by themselves?
(pointing to solitary monkey.)
Like
that guy.
MOTHER
Well,
I don’t know. Why do we do what we
do?
BOY
Like
what.
MOTHER
Well,
anything.
(Pause. Kids shrug.)
Otherwise,
they wouldn’t be monkeys.
(pause)
GIRL
What
would they be?
(pause)
MOTHER
I
don’t know.
(pause)
Monks.
(BLACKOUT)
(END
OF PART II)
Part
III
| SETTING: | Same set. |
| AT RISE: | Young mother, staring gaga-eyed at audience when lights come up, huge grin, crazy expression. |
MOTHER
OOooohhhh! Lookitchu! Yer so k-yute! Aren’t you. Aren’t you just
precious. Hmmm? Yesh shoe aaare. You’re just the teeny tiniest little
precious thing I ever saw. Aren’cha. Hmm? Aren’cha. Yeeeesh. Oh,
lookichu. Preshuuush. Oohhjujushuhwittoteenypreshushshiiiingarenchuwittoebeetybitty
bodybuddywitchowittlefingoesanchuwittotoesywoesies
. . .
(Continues baby talk to audience for a great
while.)
Can
you say: Ma-Ma? Hmm? Come on. Say: Ma-Ma. . . . No? Sure you caaaaan. Ooaaah. You won’t do it? You won’t do it for me? O.K.
(screaming:)
Oh! You’re just so goddamned cute! Aren’t you!
(pause)
Yeeeeesh. Oh yesh shoe are. Oh yesh shoe are. Yer jusht a-door-uh-buuuull. Cute as a little puppet. Like a little dolly. Just like in the magazines. And you’ve got Mommy’s eyes. Yesh shoe dooooo. And Mommy’s ears. And Mommy’s little nose. And Mommy’s little head. And Mommy’s little hands. And Mommy’s little neck. And Mommy’s little nipples. And Mommy’s little feet. And Mommy’s little peter.
(pause)
And
Mommy’s little mouth.
(pause)
You
look just like me. Yesh shoe
dooooo.
(pause)
You
look just–like–me!
(pause)
But
then you’re mine. Aren’t you. You belong to me. The only reason you’re here is because
of me. Hmm? Yeeeesh. You might never have been. Hmmmmmm? If it
wasn’t for Mommy? Now. Can’t you say Mommy? Try? Say: Ma-Ma. Say it. Say it now. Just say it. Say
it. Say it, say it, say it
say it say it say it!!
(pause)
You
were a part of me, you know. Not
your dad. No. You weren’t ever anything to him. But you were inside of me. Your dad was inside me too. But he didn’t mean anything to me. And I didn’t mean anything to him. We’re nothing to each other. But you. I mean something to you. Don’t I. Don’t
I? Shure I dooooo. Yeeeesh. Say Ma-Ma now. Say Ma-Ma.
(pause)
You
won’t say it?
(pause)
I mean something to you, damn it! I
do! I do! I do, I do, I do, I do!
(pause)
What’s
wrong? Hmm? What’s the matter? What’s the matter with you? Hmmmmmmm?
(pause)
Why
can’t you smile? Why don’t you
ever smile?
(pause)
Never
once have I seen you smile. Not at
me, not at your daddy, not at anyone.
(pause)
Now: tell me what’s the matter. Tell Mommy. Tell Mommy what’s the matter.
(pause)
Tell
Mommy what the fuck is the matter! Tell her! Tell her tell her
tell her tell her!
(pause)
Oh! Ooaaaaaahh. You smiled! You’re smiling!
(calling:)
Dilbert! Dilbert get in here! Dilbert!! He’s smiling, Dilbert!
(Pause. She stares with great doting fondness at the audience.)
That
is soooooooo preshush. Yeeeeeesh.
(pause)
Oh! Don’t stop! No! Don’t stop
now! Please! Keep smiling! Smile! Smile
now. Smile for Mommy.
(pause)
Please?
(pause)
Please! Smile! Smile now! Smile Right–Now! Smile like
you mean it! Like you’re glad to
be alive! Like you’re grateful for
what I’ve done! For having
suffered for you! For having
brought you into this miserable world through great pain and suffering and
stress and confusion and longing to be dead! Wishing I’d never been born! Wishing I’d been born dead! For you! All
for you! Do you hear me?! Can you even hear me?! Are you even listening to me!?!
(pause)
I
wanted to die when you were born!
(pause)
Oh! Theeeeeere now. That’s better. You have such a beautiful smile. Such a pretty little mouth. Well, it’s mine, see? It’s my mouth. And that’s why. Everything you have, or ever will
have–it’s mine. All mine.
(pause)
Mine.
(Pause. Begins to weep.)
Everything. All of it. All me. Everything
you will ever be, is me. You’re
all me. Nothing but me.
(Weeping
grows into sobs.)
Me. Mine. I’m not here. I’m there. I’m you.
(Pause. Sobbing more desperately.)
In
there.
(Pause. Bawling.)
There. There. There there there there there.
(pause)
Stop
looking at me! Stop it! Stop smiling! Don’t! Don’t! Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it
. . .
(Pause. Words fade off, are drowned out by hysterical sobbing. Sobs grow softer.)
(FADE)
(END
OF PLAY)