Time and Time Again
a 1 1/2 page play
by
dustin hansen
copyright April 2000 by Dustin Hansen
| Gerald | A half-mad scientist. |
(A kitchen. A large elaborate contraption, made up of
junk: old appliances and such. Gerald sits in the middle.)
GERALD
Boy I’m hungry. I could use some egg salad.
(GERALD makes himself an egg salad sandwich, squirts
ketchup on it, eats while adjusting various knobs, switches and dials on the
apparatus.)
Aaaaaah. Egg salad,
O.K. Now just readjust the reticulator, calibrate the
anti-reverse-transunrepostulating deropulum, invert the dynasteepomutic
pentameter, balance the chronopancreatic radafram with the counterpointilated
togular esophamolluskular reflux fracto-remote tangulerical spickalator,
aaaaaaaaaand . . ,
(He flips a switch: bizarre sounds, lights, shutters;
the machine spins and vibrates for a minute, then winds down to a stop.)
Eureka! Gods be praised!
(He kisses the machine, makes love to it)
Oh! I love you, machine! My reverse-chronoreticulator!
My sweet! It worked! It actually fucking worked! Oh, if Albert were here to see
me now!
(looks at the large clock on the apparatus)
Oh. But wait. It only went back 43 seconds. Hmm. 1 must
have to … let’s see ….. Boy I’m hungry. I could use some egg salad.
(GERALD makes himself an egg salad sandwich, squirts
ketchup on it, eats while adjusting various knobs, switches and dials on the
apparatus.)
Aaaaaah, Egg salad. O.K. Now just readjust the
reticulator, calibrate the anti-reverse-transunrepostulating deropulum, invert
the dynasteepomutic pentameter, balance the chronopancreatic radafram with the
counterpointilated togular esophamolluskular reflux fracto-remote tangulerical
spickalator, aaaaaaaaaand …
(He flips a switch: bizarre sounds, lights, shutters;
the machine spins and vibrates for a minute, then winds down to a stop.)
Eureka! Gods be praised!
(He kisses the machine, makes love to it.)
Oh! I love you, machine! My reverse-chronoreticulator!
My sweet! It worked! It actually fucking worked! Oh, if Albert were here to see
me now!
(Looks at the large clock on the apparatus)
Oh. But wait. It only went back 43 seconds. Hmm. I must
have to … let’s see …… Boy I’m hungry. I could use some egg salad.
(GERALD makes himself an egg salad sandwich, squirts
ketchup on it, eats while adjusting various knobs, switches and dials on the
apparatus.)
Aaaaaah. Egg salad. O.K. Now just readjust the
reticulator, calibrate the anti-reverse-transunrepostulating deropulum, invert
the dynasteepomutic pentameter, balance the chronopancreatic radafram with the
counterpointilated togular esophamolluskular reflux fracto-remote tangulerical
spickalator, aaaaaaaaaand …
(He flips a switch: bizarre sounds, lights, shutters;
the machine spins and vibrates for a minute, then winds down to a stop.)
Eureka! Gods be praised!
(He kisses the machine, makes love to it.)
Oh! I love you, machine! My reverse-chronoreticulator!
My sweet! It worked! It actually fucking worked! Oh, if Albert were here to see
me now!
(Looks at the large clock on
the apparatus)
(FADE)