Helpings

a short play

dustin hansen

by Dustin Hansen

dustin@silentmouth.com

Cast of characters

Marie	An old woman in hospital. Alzheimer’s patient.
Constance	A young woman (20’s). A licensed nurse at the hospital.
Mr. and Mrs. Skinner	Marie’s daughter and her husband. Mid 50’s.

Scene

Marie’s room at the hospital.

Time

Early afternoon.

AT RISE: Marie sits on bed, picking through her food but not eating. She has wet herself, her gown soaked. She talks to herself.

MARIE

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I eat ground glass through a straw. Plastic spoons. Plastic food. Plastic people. Can’t eat with em.

(CONSTANCE enters)

CONSTANCE

How’s your dinner, Marie? Oh, no, you—your gown’s all wet.

MARIE (shrugs)

I was tired.

CONSTANCE

Here, let’s get a fresh one.

(CONSTANCE gets clean gown from closet, helps MARIE
change)

MARIE

Take away this poison!

(throws dumpling at her.)

At least it’s not soup. You can put anything in soup. I’ve seen it. Don’t tell me. You can make soup with old bandaids so don’t take my skin I need it. Don’t go taking any liberties. I’m not your dolly. It’s too heavy, though. Can’t hardly stand. My hair’s too heavy too can’t hardly hold my head up half the day. But I need it. My head’ll freeze off. I need a crutch for this neck. . . . Where’s my cane? You stole my cane. Suzie! Give it! Give it!

CONSTANCE

It’s right here.

MARIE

Gimme it. It’s not proper to appropriate my property. You pilfer I’ll give you a licking. There are termites in this leg. What did you do. They’re eating it. I need a new leg.

CONSTANCE

You’re fine. You don’t even need that. How many times have I told you?

MARIE

One too many. Hear em eatin? . . . You coveting my leg? Don’t touch it. I don’t like women, I like men. Big men. With hats. On their heads. Nowhere else. . . . Where’s my hat? Where’s my bonnet?

CONSTANCE

You never had any—

MARIE

It was on my head a second ago. It was here. . . . It was her. My own flesh and blood steals my bonnet out from under me. Suzie Fluzie. You’re nothing but a little dimpled bitch. Mom’ll have your hide, little Suzie Fluzie.

CONSTANCE

I’m Constance. Remember? It’s me, Constance. Your sister’s not here. She died.

MARIE

Did you kill her, Charity?

CONSTANCE

Constance. No. She had cancer.

MARIE

That’d be just like you. Doctors give you cancer. That’s how you make your money. You take our blood away and charge us an arm and a leg for some new blood that’s bad.

CONSTANCE

Well, I’m not a doctor, so you don’t have to worry. I’m just here to help you.

MARIE

Oh, sure, that’s what everybody says. Don’t breathe on me, Miss Marie. Keep your stinking words under your tongue. Just keep them under your hat.

CONSTANCE

Did you call me Marie?

MARIE

Do you even know who I am? You don’t even know me. A few pokes with a pin and now I’m cured and stay here forever.

(pause)

Did you check the pot?

CONSTANCE

You mean the . . . What do you mean?

MARIE

Are you even listening? Are you even stirrin it? I told you to watch that pot! The beets are gonna boil all over and burn and everything’s gonna be ruined—the carpet’ll turn red . . .

(pause)

CONSTANCE

Marie, are you O.K.? You wanna lie down?

MARIE

I don’t like women I like men. You just wanna watch me get undressed. Don’t tell me.

CONSTANCE

You don’t have to get undressed, Marie.

MARIE

Shh! You’ll wake the baby.

CONSTANCE

There are no babies on this floor.

MARIE

Shhhhhhhhhhhh! . . . What’d you put in this food? These ain’t right. I know you. I know you like I know the back of your hand. You wanna do away with me. This dumpling’s a booby trap. I know villages of people who died of dumplings. You want me out of the picture. So you can get into the picture with my Lester. Filthy old mule. Never loved me. Skunk was cheatin on me since the day he was born.

CONSTANCE

Well I think he loves you.

MARIE

Loves my foot.

CONSTANCE

Why wouldn’t he love you? Why would he come to see you, Marie?

MARIE

He comes to poke his finger at me. To say “look at you.” “Look at you” and laugh. Anyway when’s he ever come. Always out carousin with some young fluzie like you.

CONSTANCE

Well, he was here this morning. Don’t you remember?

MARIE

I wasn’t even here this morning.

(pause. looks at needle in her arm)

What you did here. See this is what I mean. Why you stick that in me, to see if I’m done?

CONSTANCE

That’s because you haven’t been eating, Marie. If you eat, then you won’t have to have it.

MARIE

It pops out and I’m cooked and eaten. Stuffed. I wasn’t just born on the turnip truck yesterday. I’m no turnip. Let me tell you. I know you want my skin. This is good skin you can’t have it. Some of the best around. You want a blanket. You want me for a table cloth. I’m the one who’s cold. I’m cold! Don’t cook me! Don’t cut off my head, Dad! I can still run around. I’ll peck your eyes out, body or no. I’ll claw your cock off. Don’t gaze at the rain or you’ll drown. Go inside now, Suzie. Go and check the pot.

(pause. looks up)

Sure is a nice day. But it’s going to rain. See? A storm coming.

CONSTANCE (indicating food:)

You done with this?

MARIE

Yes, I’m done with your urinated dumplings and arsenic soup. Wait! Give me that cup.

(she takes cup, opens drawer which is filled with
used cups and tongue depressors, puts cup in with the others)

You bring me any throat sticks?

CONSTANCE

Oh. No, not today, Marie.

MARIE

What’d you do, eat them? What did you do with em? You threw them?

CONSTANCE

I forgot. If you want to dig through the garbage, I’m sure you’ll—

MARIE

Ya, ya, you want me to rut in rot and fish through filth so I’ll get germs on my lips and gangrene on my face and get sick and die and you can be rid of the likes of me. Well, it’s not gonna be that easy, Mister. Let’s use some. Now. Right now. There’s something wrong with my tonsils. Check.

CONSTANCE

Marie, there’s nothing wrong with you.

MARIE

Check! Look in my gullet! See if they’re still there. I can’t feel them.

(CONSTANCE gets tongue depressor, unwraps it)

CONSTANCE

All right. Open wide then.

MARIE

I have to add to my collection. Don’t you need a flashlight? Should I say Ahhhhhhhh?

CONSTANCE

Say whatever tickles your fancy.

MARIE

Hey! Nobody’s ticklin anybody’s fancy around here, Missy. Specially not mine. And specially not you. I don’t like women. I like men. Men with beards. On their faces.

CONSTANCE

Just sing or something.

MARIE

What shall I sing?

CONSTANCE

Opera. No consonants.

MARIE

Oh, I’m good at that. Give me a tiara and I can whelp like a deaf dog in heat any day of the week. I’m going to be a famous opera singer some day, ya know. Wait and see.

CONSTANCE

Just sing, O.K.?

(MARIE sings)

CONSTANCE (cont.)

You’re fine. Your tonsils are thriving.

MARIE

You’re a blind liar. Look again.

CONSTANCE

Trust me, Marie, there’s nothing—

MARIE

Look again!

(CONSTANCE starts to repeat the throat check)

No. Use a new one. That one’s used. It’s got germs all over it. And spittle.

CONSTANCE

Just yours.

MARIE

You think I want spittle in my mouth?

CONSTANCE

You’ve got spittle in your mouth.

MARIE

That’s new spittle. This is old spittle!

CONSTANCE

All right. We’ll use a new one.

MARIE

That’s right. Now you’re talking sense.

(CONSTANCE opens a new tongue depressor. MARIE puts the first one in her drawer)

CONSTANCE

Open up. Opera.

(MARIE sings. CONSTANCE looks in her throat.)

MARIE

Ach! You’re trying to puke me out! I almost puked right on you. You shouldn’t do it like that. If I puke he’ll clobber me you know. He always does. And don’t spill the grape juice. Mom’ll batter you with the spatula. You don’t have oatmeal, do you?

CONSTANCE

No, not on me. You want some oatmeal? Cause I don’t have any.

MARIE

Uuuuughrhlughck! Hell no! All I ate. Every morning, all I get. Had to finish. Got cold. Hated it anyway. But specially cold. Like lumpy old fungus, mushed with a skin on it. But if we didn’t finish, we’d go to school. And come back, and there it would be, the

MARIE (cont.)

same bowl, waitin for us. And we had to eat it before we’d get anything else. No supper til the oatmeal was gone. And if we couldn’t eat it still, it would sit there til the next morning. And that’s all we’d get. Til it was gone. And this one time, I puked in school. And Mrs. Halverson sent me home sick. And I said, no, I ain’t sick. Please. I’m fine. I wanna stay. And she says No no no, I won’t have you infectin everybody. Go home. And there is the oatmeal. And dad says, You sick? Eat somethin. It’ll make ya better. I says O.K., what can I have? He says It’s right there. Pointin to the oatmeal. And I looked at it and just about puked. And I says I can’t eat that, I don’t want oatmeal, I don’t like oatmeal. And he says, well then you shouldn’t have taken so much, should you. But ya know we never took our own, mom just slopped a bunch in a bowl. And he says You think oatmeal grows on trees? Well it doesn’t. Oatmeal don’t grow on trees. And I was so hungry. Cause I’d puked up everything I’d eaten. And so I tried to eat it. But then I puked again. And dad was so angry he got out the pliers. He’d pull on our tongues with the pliers sometimes. And our teeth. And say he was gonna pull em out. But he never did, but we didn’t know he wouldn’t. And he made me eat it. Right outta my stomach. Right off the floor. And I did. I ate my vomit. And then he made me eat the rest of the oatmeal. And I did. And then he made me clean up the carpet. And the whole time you just stood there. You just watched me. You stared at me. You didn’t do nothin. Didn’t say nothin. Didn’t leave. Just watched. I wanted to pull out your eyes with that pliers. I wish I had. Then I went upstairs and puked again. Puked up the puke. Quietly as I could. And in the trash. And he didn’t find out. And then I fed the chickens.

(silence)

Say, what’s wrong?

CONSTANCE

Nothing.

MARIE

Oh, come come come come. You can’t pull one over on me. I know. What’s the matter?

CONSTANCE

Oh, it’s just . . . my mom’s sick.

MARIE

OOOOOOOh. Got the cancer?

CONSTANCE

No. In her head. Her mind’s sick.

MARIE

That’s nothin. That won’t kill ya.

CONSTANCE

I just feel like . . . like I have to talk to her. Now, right now, and tell her . . . everything. Anything I have to tell her. Because pretty soon . . . she won’t know who she’s talking to.

MARIE

Well, whatta you wanna tell her?

CONSTANCE

Well . . . I don’t really have anything, really, but . . . but I feel like I have to.

MARIE

Well, I wouldn’t trouble your pretty little head over it. She probably won’t remember anything you told her anyway.

(pause)

CONSTANCE

Ya know, sometimes I think you’re playing games with me, Marie. No, I do.

MARIE

Am I winning?

CONSTANCE

Yeah. You are, I think.

MARIE

Good.

(pause)

CONSTANCE

But it’s like I don’t even know her. I don’t mean now, cause she’s sick. I mean . . . like I’ve never known her. We’ve never talked.

MARIE

Is she a mime? Deaf and dumb or somethin?

CONSTANCE

She was an alcoholic, for a long time, and never spoke, just . . . sat there and . . . mumbled, and then passed out and snored like she was suffocating. And now she’s better I guess, but, I mean, it’s like, . . . who is she? She’s not my mom. Not the mom I knew. Because there wasn’t one. But still I feel like I’m supposed to . . . love her at least, and—

MARIE

Why? Cause she’s got your blood?

CONSTANCE

Well, yeah, I guess. I mean—

MARIE

That’s hog slop. You probly know me better than her.

CONSTANCE

But I mean . . . I don’t love anyone. Really.

MARIE

Yeah. Me neither.

CONSTANCE

I mean I never got married, I never date, and I . . . I’m just a . . . shell. Just . . . empty.

MARIE

You wanna dumpling?

CONSTANCE

I’m just . . . alone. Like an orphan or something.

MARIE

To hell with that bunk. Open your eyes once in a while. Just look around. All you got is mothers. A hundred of em. Nothin but mothers, from here to Kingdom Come.

(pause. MR. and MRS. SKINNER enter)

MRS. SKINNER

Knock knock.

CONSTANCE

Oh, hi. Marie, it’s your daughter. Come on in. She’s just finished up with dinner.

MR. SKINNER

Hello, Marie. How you been getting on? All right?

MARIE (to CONSTANCE:)

That the tax man?

CONSTANCE

Marie, it’s your daughter Bernice and her husband—uh, I’m sorry, I can’t—

MR. SKINNER

Donald.

CONSTANCE

Right. I’m sorry. It’s Bernice and Donald. Isn’t that nice?

MARIE

This is my room. You can’t have it. You can’t sleep in my bed.

MRS. SKINNER (laughing uncomfortably)

Mom, we’re just here to see you. To see how you’re doing.

(pause)

How are you doing?

MARIE

You can’t take me away! I don’t wanna go in the furnace room! It burns me and smells and I’ll throw up! Please, Mr. Halverson! Don’t!

MRS. SKINNER (to CONSTANCE:)

Is she all right?

CONSTANCE

I think so. Marie. Look at me. You remember Bernice and Donald, don’t you?

MARIE

I didn’t throw it! Wesley threw it! Don’t let them whip me. Hide me. Help me.

CONSTANCE

Shh. They’re not going to do anything. They’re here to talk to you.

MARIE

They can’t take me to the room. I’m scared of rats. Ah! There’s bugs on me!

MR. SKINNER

Uh, maybe we should—

MRS. SKINNER

Yes, should we . . .

CONSTANCE

Maybe, yeah. She’s . . . maybe it would be best to come back another time.

MR. SKINNER

Yes, I think so.

MRS. SKINNER

We’ll just . . . come back. Another time.

MARIE

They can’t do anything. Don’t let them do anything. I can’t see. I can’t see.

CONSTANCE

But thank you for coming. It’s nice to see people . . . who . . .

MR. SKINNER

Sure. You bet.

MRS. SKINNER

Bye bye, dear. We’ll see you soon, O.K. Mom?

MARIE

Don’t let him pull out my tongue.

CONSTANCE

It’s O.K. Let’s lie down, huh? Let’s just lie down for a minute.

(she helps MARIE to lie down. she seems to fall quickly asleep, the
blanket pulled over most of her face)

MRS. SKINNER

It’s so sad. She doesn’t even know us.

MR. SKINNER

Bye now. We’ll come again.

(MR. and MRS. SKINNER go. CONSTANCE sits by MARIE on bed)

CONSTANCE

Marie? Are you asleep?

(pause)

MARIE

Maybe.

CONSTANCE

I could use a nap myself.

MARIE

Come here. Come on.

CONSTANCE

I’m right here, Marie.

MARIE

Come here. Lie down.

CONSTANCE

Oh, no, we’re not allowed . . . I don’t think I’m allowed to—

MARIE

Please? Lie down next to me?

(pause)

CONSTANCE

All right.

(she gets into the bed with MARIE)

MARIE

Comfy, Charity?

CONSTANCE

Constance.

MARIE

I love you, Chastity.

CONSTANCE

I love you too, Marie.

MARIE

You wanna marry me?

CONSTANCE

Maybe some day.

MARIE

O.K. We’ll do that.

(pause)

When we’re older.

(FADE)

(END OF PLAY)