parody

Every single word in the Bible is true. It’s only when you group them together as sentences that they start getting iffy.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 16, 2013

Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 16, 2013

I used to think I didn’t have a “hobby”, but come to think of it I guess fucking your shit up counts.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 15, 2013

Real nice planet you got there, humanity. Sure would be a shame if something were to happen to it. [Pause.] So, see you in church Sunday?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 15, 2013

Today, be sure to tell your Old Testament wife she was worth tending her father’s flocks for seven years to buy ownership rights to.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 14, 2013

The lesson of “Green Eggs and Ham” is that your life will improve once you accept strange food from a stalker.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 12, 2013

Fuck it, I’m resigning too.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 11, 2013

Good stuff. : ) https://twitter.com/thetweetofgod